The New Normal

The funeral is over, and the service was beautiful. It was everything your loved one would have done for themselves.  All of the beautiful flower arrangements have since turned brown, and have been thrown out. The thank you notes have been mailed out. It’s quiet now. Everyone has returned to their lives. People have flown back home and prepared to return to work. Everything is normal. 

Except it isn’t. 
Whenever I serve a family, I always make it a point to talk to the best friend, the sibling, the spouse—whomever is playing the role of primary supporter for the person experiencing the loss. Yes, the shock of losing someone is almost unbearable, but what comes next is even harder. 

The quiet. 

When a death occurs, aside from the emotional obstacle course you’re forced to endure, there are so many logistical decisions that need to be made. Memorials must be coordinated, estates settled, property cleared out. There’s a lot that has to be done, and in doing so, you don’t have time to feel. 

Once the dust settles and there’s nothing else to plan, everyone goes home to their lives. You, however, are not sure what that even looks like. A respectable period of time has passed but there’s that empty feeling that is hard to shake. 

This is when support is needed the most. 

Don’t be afraid to check in. Make those calls or send those texts. It helps more than you know. It doesn’t have to be a drawn out ordeal. Simply reaching out is more than enough to help them get used to their new life. 

Their new normal.