In this industry, everything is an emergency, and everyone wants everything yesterday. 

This week's post kind of borders on a rant, but I’m going to tackle it anyway. 
One of the questions that really grinds my gears is (drumroll please) ....

“How do Jewish families do it so quickly?”

Now, this wouldn't be so frustrating if people were asking out of genuine curiosity. This particular question, however, is normally asked incredulously after they've been told that the entire process will take the better half of a week. Each time it's asked, there's a discernible tone that I can only equate with snark. You know the tone, it's the auditory representation of sitting back and crossing your arms in a huff with the sure knowledge that 'I've got you now'. The conversations almost always go as follows:

Me: Oh, was he Jewish?
Them: What if he were?
Me: Well, if he were an Orthodox Jew, you likely would be working with a Jewish mortuary who had access to an emergency filing sect of the health department to have him buried within the Jewish customs.
Them: Well that’s not fair.
Me: *screams internally*

I get it, death is hard and hurtful and you need to feel like you’re doing something, anything, to make this process be over with more quickly. I have some unfortunate news for you it just doesn’t work that way. 
So now that you know how “the Jewish families do it so quickly”, it’s time for you to hear about yourselves a bit. 

Please recognize that there actually may be other people who are in the exact same situation as you are, and we as the mortuary, are charged with protecting the interests of ALL of our families equally. As I mentioned in a previous post , we cannot be bribed, intimidated, or coerced into moving someone else’s services for you. This just isn’t how we are wired. 
Stop demeaning the religious customs of other faiths just to make things happen more quickly for you. 

And most importantly, stop asking me.