i do death

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Always, Sunflowers

"We’d like everyone to place a sunflower in the casket with him.”

That wasn’t a particularly strange request. Families placed flowers inside of the casket all of the time. Usually I would just nod my head and add that to my notes. Today, for some inexplicable reason, I was curious.

“May I ask why?”

“Sunflowers represent loyalty, independence, and strength. All things he showed when he was sick, and we want him to know we saw that in him.”

It was sweet. I’d never really thought about it that way. In my opinion, they were just pretty flowers.

The service was quite touching, each person at the service was handed a long-stemmed sunflower, and placed it in the casket with him. By the time everyone was done, I had to struggle to lock the casket because it was so full.

Seeing that visual representation of love and grief was truly beautiful.

I’ve never been a lover of receiving flowers. They’re incredibly expensive. Unlike plants, they don’t serve any useful purpose in the home. They’re beautiful for a few days, and then they die. I just never really understood why people loved them so much.

Except sunflowers.

I don’t mean the ones you see in the bouquets, either.

Have you ever seen sunflowers at their full maturity? They can grow to be up to 6 feet tall if they aren’t cut.

Maybe this is something most of you know already. Maybe not. For my best friend’s birthday, we went to the spa.

Outside of the entry gates was a patch of wild sunflowers. I got out of the car and walked over to them. I stood right next to one and shielded my eyes to look up into its face.

There was something unapologetic about how it was standing tall. Shining and thriving and, not only defying the heat of the sun, but absorbing it.


I don’t buy flowers often, or really, ever. Every now and again, I’ll treat myself. It’s more of a reminder than a treat, if I’m being transparent. Almost like a love note left on my mirror.


Be loyal. Be independent. Be strong.

Always ,

Sunflowers.