Never Enough

It was a beautiful thought, really. 

The idea was for every attendee to take a rose from the bucket and place it inside of the casket before going to the graveside. It would have been a beautiful tribute. 

Would’ve been. 

The family hadn’t anticipated that over 200 people would come to the service, and they had under ordered the flowers. 

“There aren’t enough!” She sank to the floor in the chapel, and knocked over the bucket of rose petals on the way down. 
I just stood off to the side watching this woman throw a fit. 

“Janet, let it go, it’s not that big of a deal.” Her brother was trying to calm her down, but it wasn’t working. 

I didn’t see what the big deal was. They were just flowers, and there were so many ways to pivot in this situation.

“It’s not enough. It’s never ENOUGH!” she exclaimed, still sobbing.

That’s when it clicked. It wasn’t about the flowers. 

It was about her grief. 

Her guilt. 

She wasn’t the perfect daughter. There was nothing she could do about that now. She couldn’t control that. So she latched on to what she could  control. The funeral. 

This happens a lot with families I’ve served. It’s almost if guilt chooses the same moment each time to rear its ugly head.  Maybe you weren’t there when they died. Maybe a lot went unsaid. That’s not for me to know. Show the people you love that you care, while they’re still here. 

It will be enough. 

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