Let’s talk about grieving relationships. Because, yes, it’s a thing. Relationships die, and, like all things that die, you must grieve before being able to move on in a healthy way.
I’m by no means a relationship expert, but I’ve weathered a break-up or five in my day and thought I’d share what works for me:
- DON’T BE AFRAID TO FEEL IT – Breakups suck, but you know what sucks more? Being in a relationship with a draining partner and losing yourself in them. It’s OK to be sad. I’ve mentioned this before in Riding the Wave. You’ve got to let the feelings hit you, and eventually, you’ll learn to surf.
- DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR FEELING NOSTALGIC— As long as that’s all it is. You’ve had some great memories with this person, and while you definitely won’t miss the nonsense, you might long for simpler times—but don’t be fooled, ya’ll split for a reason.
- SURROUND YOURSELF WITH YOUR VILLAGE— Not those, “I always knew he was trash” friends, either. Surround yourself with strong positive forces that can help bring you to the other side.
- BE BLUNT AF– I looooove journaling. It’s a completely risk-free way to get out all of my aggression without causing any lasting damage. You’re feeling a lot of things and you need somewhere safe to just GET IT OUT.
- DATE YOURSELF – Take yourself out on the date. Alone time is best for self-reflection, and if you can’t have fun alone, that might be a conversation to have with your therapist.
Breakups are rough. You’ll get through it. Just try to amicably get your stuff back and resist the urge to go on a tire-slashing spree, yes?